Emotionally Healthy Relationships

Week 5 – Fight Cleanly

July 26  – Aug 1, 2020

Big Idea

To have emotionally healthy relationships, eliminate “dirty fighting” tactics, and fight cleanly for the sake of the relationship.


Jeremiah 6:13-14, Matthew 10:34-39

Icebreaker & Opening Thought

  1. What is your favorite TV show at the moment? Why?
  2. Some of our favorite TV shows include some conflict in them. We know that to make a story come to life, we need some conflict. While we can laugh at conflict on TV, how do you react to the reality that conflict in life is inevitable?

Bible Discussion

  1. Read Jeremiah 6:13-14. What do you notice there? What questions does this passage raise?
  2. Read Matthew 10:34-39. What does it mean to follow Jesus when conflict arises?

Life Application

  1. One of the ways we tend to deal with conflict is to choose false peace. How would you differentiate peacekeepers from peacemakers? Where do you naturally tend to lean?
  1. “Fighting dirty” typically involves some of the following techniques. Read the list below. Can you think about situations where you used one or more of these techniques?
    1. Silent treatment
    2. Sarcasm
    3. Denying
    4. Walking Away
    5. Shouting
    6. Using “Always” or “Never”
    7. Being Passive-Aggressive
  1. “Fighting cleanly” requires several steps, and it requires intentionality. Which one of the fighting cleanly techniques is easier/harder for you?
    1. Pray
    2. Assume the best
    3. Talk to each other (not about each other)
    4. Everyone speaks
    5. Argue like you are right, listen like you are wrong
    6. Commit to Clarity


God gave each of us a unique life. Let’s not spend our days living the life we think others expect of us. Instead, let’s know, speak, and act the true self God made us to be. When that happens, our most important relationships will thrive.