Big Idea Series – Relationship Goals

Week 4 – Commitment Coals

May 19 – 25, 2019

Message Big Idea

We were not created to master commitment outside of our connection to God.


1 John 3:16-18, Romans 5:1-8


What’s the best way to make you feel loved?

Opening Thought

We all want to feel loved and in turn to show our love for our friends, family members, and significant others – but we often fall short. Relationships take work and intentionality, but a lot of us feel frustrated because our efforts to love other people can go unnoticed or under-appreciated. Have you ever felt like that? Can you share a time you did something that you were sure would make the other person feel loved, but somehow fell short?

Bible Discussion

  1. Read Romans 5:1-8, what stood out to you?
  2. Read 1 John 3:16-18, how was God’s love shown to us?
  3. How do these two passages together deepen our understanding of love and God’s work in our lives?

Life Application

  1. What could it mean that “change always starts with me”?
  2. Have you explored the Five Love Languages? If so, share with the group what your love languages are and what makes you feel loved. If not, take the quiz through here and share what you think of your results.
  3. Of the 5, what love languages do you tend to ignore or even dislike?
  4. Pick someone close to you (parent, sibling, close friend, or significant other), what do you think their love language is? Do you do a good job of expressing your love and appreciation for them in a way that they can feel?
  5. The Relational Bank Account imagines that every action and word is either a deposit or withdrawal in your relationship with someone else. Have you ever heard of it? If so, has it proven true or false in your life?


Pick three people close to you who you want to show that they are loved. How could you do that this week? Make a list, guess (or ask!) their love language, and then plan ways to help them feel your love this week!